Since I started having goals, believing I could achieve them, and working towards those goals I have drastically grown as a person and my life has changed along with me. In two years I went from nannying part time to working as a Senior Graphic Designer. Every time I stop to remember this I am struck with a sense of awe and deep gratitude. It is nothing short of miraculous.
Yet when it comes to my new goals I have a tendency to feel anxious and stressed out (despite the overwhelming evidence that 1. I am completely ok 2.the world I live in is magical and shapes itself to my beliefs). Playing In the background (and frequently in the foreground too) is this underlying sense of lack/dissatisfaction. For example:
- “I want to accomplish a lot” turns into “Not doing enough” and “Not enough time to do everything”
- “I want a new car and my own apartment” becomes “Current car and residence not good enough” “Not enough money”
- “I want to grow my business and sell more jewelry” is paired with “Website is not good enough” “Photos are not good enough” “Copy is not good enough” “What do I even write about?” and of course “Not enough time”
When I was in college, on the other hand, my world was pretty small, but I was mostly satisfied. I didn’t travel too far out of my comfort zone. It never occurred to me that I could start a business so soon after graduating, that I could actually change my life by changing my beliefs, that I could eventually become wealthy doing what I love (my current goal). BUT I was less stressed, and I spent more time appreciating and enjoying the life that I was living as I was living it. I remember stopping in the middle of the path on my way home from late nights studying to stare up at the stars. I remember eating dinner every night with my friends in the dining hall and savoring the feeling of connection, and I remember walking everywhere on campus and constantly absorbing the beautiful scenery (Kenyon College is not ranked #2 on this list of beautiful college campuses for nothing).
To sum it up:
- In college I loved where I was, but I didn’t grow very fast.
- A year or so after college I started pursuing goals, facing challenges, and growing SUPER fast, but I tend to have underlying feelings of dissatisfaction.
So the question I am asking myself is how to proactively go after my goals and dreams while being happy where I am and loving every moment of the present.
I think may have something to do with these (more about them in part 2):
- Faith and gratitude.
- Shift focus from goals to process.